Title 4/5
I still don’t know if the title is perfectly appropriate since the story just begun, so I can’t give you a perfect score.
Foreword/Description 8/10
You might want to transfer your description to the foreword. In your description, just write the structure of the story.
For example:
This story revolves around the story of an idol and how he falls for a blind girl. A cute and romantic story of how he makes her see the world in a new perspective.
Originality (Plot and Character Personalities) 14/15
I liked how you made the girl realistic, like how she acted in front of SHINee. You really made it look like she’s a fan, ‘cause others write it in a way that the girl is really relaxed.
Flow 10/10
Everything seemed to be going on the right pace at the right time.
Writing Style 19/20
I like the way you write your story. Clear and understandable without confusions on who is speaking.
Grammar 18/25
Here are some of the errors I located while reading your story ^^
Spelling errors: jus -> just, knd -> kind, incedent -> incident, goonbye -> goodbye, kamsahabnida -> kamsahamnida, nex -> next, taugh -> taught, inteoduced -> introduced, piches -> pinches
Now I know why people think we're a couple,he always treats all of us like his yeobo's
Revision: Now I know why people think we’re a couple, he always treats all of us like his yeobos.
"Dongsaeng-ah,Go wake up maknae."
Revision: “Dongsaeng-ah, go wake up maknae.”
She is the best example of mean when you wake her up in the morning.
Revision: She is the best example of a mean person when you wake her up in the morning.
I apologised to the now wide awake oppa
Revision: apologized
I walked to Maknaes room and knocked on her door.
Revision: I walked to maknae’s room and knocked on her door.
I never actually thought my singing was good and he sais I'm great?!?!
Revision: I never actually thought my singing was good and he says I’m great?!?!
but it's worth it,with all of the fan's support
Revision: but it’s worth it, with all of the fans’ support
Overall Enjoyment: 14/15
It’s so good that even if most were not with SHINee yet, the reader can still enjoy the story especially the Hana-ChungHee moments
Bonus Points 2
Total Score: 89/100
Reviewer’s Note: I hope you are satisfied with your score and that this may be a helping hand for you to improve in writing. ^_^
