Story Title : 2/5
Two syllables, BORING. I've seen so many stories with similar titles. Not that many people want to read it and it doesn't interest the reader or captures their mind. But the reason why I put that score is because that your story may be cute, but I'm not really interested with people who have these kinds of titles. There is a 50% chance that I may click on it, but still, I think it doesn't really capture the readers. Try making it have stronger words. Sometimes, readers would read anything and not care for the title. But since this is a review, I guess I have to judge it.
Appearance[Background and Poster] : 6/10
It may be cute and may fit the story line, but It just doesn't click to me. The reason why I say that is because there are low quality pictures in this poster. I like it a bit because of the creativity and the unique fade but the two pictures of the boys, Taemin and Leeteuk, are low quality pictures. You may or may have not requested this kind of poster with those pictures, but I will mark it for the person who did it as well. The concept of the pictures do not match so I have to mark that down as well. There are many colors that are going on I can see, but I just keep my eyes on the noticeable pictures that are not HQ.
Forewords : 4/10
When you explain the characters, it doesn't look like you added that much details as I expected. For ages like that, especially the girls, they are too tall. Usually they would be around 150 cm. For guys, it can be that tall because some people are born naturally tall. As I found out Taemin's real height, 173 cm, it's actually higher. I found it on Google so you can't blame me if I found the wrong fact. I like it when people have a paragraph about their personalities, what they do, their hobbies, their dislikes and likes. It seemed like it was a bit rushed. I doesn't have a description about the story line AT ALL. The teaser was a bit bland...
Plot : 5/15
I don't like the description. It was too boring and it didn't have comedy. I thought you would because I saw the tag that read, comedy. If it was comedy, I probably do not have sense of humor as many people do. If you wanted to put comedy in there, think of something that many people laugh at. Describe more on scenes as well. It looked like it was a bit rushed...
Characterization : 8/10
Wow. It's weird that you have a high rating. It's actually surprising because I was just bored off of my mind. You actually showed their personalities well in the story. I was proud that I saw how you showed their personalities well, but two points are taken off. The negatives about it is because when they first meet, it didn't really show that much about Leeteuk in chapter two.
`Creativity/Originality : 3/10
These kind of stories are seen so many times. I really like uniqueness and it doesn't seem like this story is unique at all. It's just too normal. This is kind of like the description as well.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary : 2/10
At first when I read the first chapter, I had my jaw fall down. There were so many errors and there was at least more than six mistakes in each chapter. I can't name them all so I will not tell you. Some of them look like typos so it was okay. Make sure to check your chapters to have perfect spelling/vocabulary. Especially on grammar, so many mistakes. If there were a lot of mistakes in this story, people will just run away so make sure to check every chapter to see if you did it perfectly or not. I suggest for you to review your chapters two times. Make sure to put periods and commas. The commas must be placed. For example,
" yeah as beautiful as you" - Incorrect
" Yeah, as beautiful as you, (Comma when you are putting quotation marks at the end or some other punctuations)" - Correct
So do periods. They need to be placed as well...
'whatta??? i heard that he said, as beautiful as you? does that means he likes me too?' you still haven't start walking - Incorrect
" What the... I just heard him say,'as beautiful as you,'. Does that mean he likes me too?" still standing. (Period at the end at all times unless you are doing ? ! and ,) - Correct
I suggest you to look carefully and actually take your time reading it over.
Flow : 3/10
I think I can tell that you are rushing your story... this is your first fan fiction so almost everybody have bad review scores. We aren't professionals. Almost everybody are not professionals as well. Low score...
Writing Style : 3/15
Errors... Oh my god. How you wrote it was okay, but just like I said on the creativity/originality, these stories are seen so many times. Stronger words will help!!!
Overall Enjoyment : 1/5
When I first looked at the title and the plot from chapter one, I was about to fall asleep. I felt like I don't want to read these kinds of stories. It wasn't unique. I always judge the title and the enjoyment that I receive, but this story just doesn't grab me. If I was a reader and didn't review these things, I would have never clicked on this honestly. You got one point because of the poster and the characters.
Overall Total: 37/100
